All I Ever Really Needed to Know I Learned From Golf.

(F the copyright... you can't keep a good blogger down)


Leave the driver in the trunk. It's worth giving up 30 yards to hit the fairway.
Leave it left. Leave it right. Never, ever leave it short.
Your friends will never know you kicked it out from under that bush. But you will.
You'll never get out of the sand with a half-swing.
When all your friends say "go for it," it's probably the perfect time not to.
Never toss your clubs. The next hole could be the one you've always waited for.
We hit the 30-foot putts because we think about getting them close.
We miss the 3-foot putts because we think about getting them in.
The happiest golfers are the ones content with golfing alone.
Keep your eyes on the ball.
No, the ball. Keep... no. The fucking Ball. Eyes. Ball. ... good.
Don't bitch about your slice. Tighten your grip. Move your feet. Slow your backswing. Don't bitch.
No one's going to count your strokes for you.
If assholes are breathing down your neck, just let them play through.
If you leave your cart to find your ball... take more than one type of club.
If you lose your ball, look for 2 minutes. Then drop. Hit. Move on.
You're going to lose balls. Buy them out of the $1 jar on the counter.
Like it or not, your club hit the ball exactly where and how you told it to.
If you hit an ace, you buy the drinks.
Don't talk while someone's hitting. You'll have to hit eventually.
When all your friends tell you to "just lay up," it's probably the perfect time not to.
If there's a practice green, use it. Make your mistakes there.
Everyone's handicap is different. Play your game. Beat your best. Not his.

At the end of the round, everyone wins because everyone played.