Tuesday, October 24, 2006

All I Ever Really Needed to Know I Learned From Golf.

(F the copyright... you can't keep a good blogger down)


Leave the driver in the trunk. It's worth giving up 30 yards to hit the fairway.
Leave it left. Leave it right. Never, ever leave it short.
Your friends will never know you kicked it out from under that bush. But you will.
You'll never get out of the sand with a half-swing.
When all your friends say "go for it," it's probably the perfect time not to.
Never toss your clubs. The next hole could be the one you've always waited for.
We hit the 30-foot putts because we think about getting them close.
We miss the 3-foot putts because we think about getting them in.
The happiest golfers are the ones content with golfing alone.
Keep your eyes on the ball.
No, the ball. Keep... no. The fucking Ball. Eyes. Ball. ... good.
Don't bitch about your slice. Tighten your grip. Move your feet. Slow your backswing. Don't bitch.
No one's going to count your strokes for you.
If assholes are breathing down your neck, just let them play through.
If you leave your cart to find your ball... take more than one type of club.
If you lose your ball, look for 2 minutes. Then drop. Hit. Move on.
You're going to lose balls. Buy them out of the $1 jar on the counter.
Like it or not, your club hit the ball exactly where and how you told it to.
If you hit an ace, you buy the drinks.
Don't talk while someone's hitting. You'll have to hit eventually.
When all your friends tell you to "just lay up," it's probably the perfect time not to.
If there's a practice green, use it. Make your mistakes there.
Everyone's handicap is different. Play your game. Beat your best. Not his.

At the end of the round, everyone wins because everyone played.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Genuine. Premium.

Neil Young sings: "It's better to burn out than to fade away."

It's one thing to hear it, another to see it with your own eyes. I did this weekend, watching Mick Jagger, Keith Richards and the rest of the Rolling Stones tear up the Sun Bowl for an hour and a half Friday night. I've been to good concerts, some of them great. Friday night was inspiring. Seeing a band so legendary that Dave Matthews would bow down to them... which he did when he came back out to help Mick sing "Lean on Me." I guess I should mention that Dave opened for the Stones with an hour-twenty-minute set of his own. He opened with "Don't Drink the Water," played my favorite DMB song "Grey Street," and (praise Apollo) closed with Ants. I loved just watching him and Mick dance for 3 hours. The only Stones song I really wanted to hear live was Start Me Up (which, surprisingly, they played like 7th). After every song, Ezra & I looked at each other and sung "DAAA D'UH DAT" until they finally freggin' played it.

One night. Two bands crossed off my list of bands I need to see before I assume my next form (or the bands do). Bands I've now seen include (no order): DMB, The Stones, Boston, Doobie Brothers, Allman Brothers, Waltham, Ben Folds, Guster, Ben Folds WITH Guster (still my favorite show), 3eb (still my favorite band), Bosstones, All-American Rejects, Yellowcard, The Offspring, Gym Class Heroes, Flogging Molly, Fountains of Wayne (most random concert I've ever seen... playing impromptu in front of the Hancock... remember Meglino?), Four Tops - Temptations - OJs - Whispers (same show), The Indigo Girls, Maynard Ferguson w/ Big Bop Nouveau... and maybe some I forgot.

Groups/Artists I still need to see: BNL, Green Day, Maroon 5, Rockapella, Billy Joel, the Eagles, Goo Goo Dolls, U2. I guess Dispatch is out of the question... or is it?

Saturday began with 18 sweet holes at the prestigious NMSU Golf Course. I got my birdie (an uphill 25-foot putt on ..2). That's all I ask of myself... one hole per round--one shot that I can toast to later. I will never toss my clubs in the water because as bad as one hole can be, every "next hole" could be the hole you tell your grandkids about. Reason ..2348 why I love golf. In an upcoming blog, I will jot down "Everything I Need To Know About Life I Learned From Golf" (sorry, kindergarden).

The 19th hole was back at my place... Ezra and I treated ourselves and our friend Consuela to burgers off the $1000 community grill in front of my place (¡Me encanta mi... uhh condo...o!) as well as Pumpkin Ice Cream from Dreyers (if there's any left at your supermarket, try it now or live the rest of your life wondering what you've missed). Then, it was time to

PARTY. Ezra & I went to an abc7-hosted Halloween shindig as "The Life of the Party." More specifically, I was a giant beer bottle with a label that summed up our entire weekend: "Geniune. Premium. Beer." Ezra went as a keg... but wait, there's more. His top, which looked like a tap, actually held 12 ounces of beer which he could then drink thru a built-in tap. It was a huge hit. Though I had to sacrifice 4% of my time budgeted for dancing with hot chicks to fill him up, I'd do it for any good man. Props to Ron Burgundy & Veronica Corningstone, Lil John and the Fantanas for 2nd, 3rd & 4th place in my book... behind Ezra's Keg (extra points for practicality).

I closed out with a perfect Sunday... chocolate-chip pancakes down at IHOP, watching an OT fieldgoal bury Ben Worthlessburger and the Steelers and catching up on Heroes. By the way, I checked out the comic book on the Heroes site... don't count the quarterback out just yet........... (what does he mean? ... why is he talking like that? ... is he gonna do that the whole blog?)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I'll close out this week's version of "Inside my Head" by answering the 5 most popular questions I've received lately.

1. How is your dad doing?
He tells me he's in wonderful spirits (as are my mom, sister, and I) and is constantly touched whenever I tell him any of you send your best. Thank all of you again for your support in so many ways. We are soaring towards our monetary goal of $140,000 for his transplant and such which is now scheduled for mid-November.

2. How are you doing?
I'm very happy. Counting down to dad's transplant (which I'm very confident in). I've also had a well-rounded 30 days of travel. In fact, this'll be my first 5-day workweek since September. I'm just gettin ready to hunker down for another long work-stretch including the beloved November sweeps. And my health is great.

3. What's up with our WHS '01 Reunion?
It's the Friday after Thanksgiving. Providence. Check the last email I wrote you this summer. Zack & I will hopefully send out final times and cost this week. Don't assume I have your email... send it to me.

4. When are you moving back east?
Not sure about that. I will admit... all signs point to D.C. Eventually. For now, I'm soaking up every moment in New Mexico. It's such a refreshing contrast to a northeast lifer, I'm not taking one sunset, one enchilada, one post-rain mesquite bush for granted.

5. What happened to your Sox?
Go Patriots. 5-1, baby!


If you have any questions for Jayme, message his myspace page or IM him at LPBrew82. Then check his next blog and tell all your friends: "I'm on Jayme's blog." And they'll be like: "No way." And you'll be all like: "Heck yes, I am. Check it out." And they'll be like "Pssh... whatev." And you'll be all like: "I whatev'd your mom last night."

Or something like that... talk to you soon.
Watch for my next blog, Golf: The Greatest Game Ever Created By Humans.

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