Pride.

Pride cannot be taken.
You, alone, can keep it... surrender it... and reobtain it. No one else.

We can all benefit from reminding ourselves that, especially my brothers and sisters of the Pride of the Orange... my beloved Syracuse University Marching Band which took a shot across it's bow this week from our ever-ignorant and apathetic student newspaper. This was printed in the Daily Orange on Wednesday, Sept 13:

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Anyone at the Dome last Saturday knows the play calling was terrible and the execution was worse. When it was all over, I was actually glad to see the football team come back on to the field.

That's right, I'm talking about the Syracuse University Marching Band, the so-called "Pride of the Orange." Let's not kid around, bandies: the pride of the Orange is Baton Girl, and you are like so many Kevin Federlines to her Britney. Now take out your stupid-looking cornrows and go back to fathering this nation's next generation of hyper-sexual teen stars.

In actuality, the best teams to take the field for SU this fall are the field hockey and men's soccer squads, both at 3-2. Though the men's cross-country team has picked up two first places so far, I don't count them. "Run through the woods" is not a sport, it is step number one in "how to escape a bear."

Meanwhile, the marching band has yet to even compete, giving them a grand total of zero wins for this year. Thanks for bringing such marvelous accolades to our proud alma mater, guys.

Tom Dilella, an undeclared freshman and tuba-playing marcher, said he is not even sure when the band's first competition will be, but the SUMB is "going up to Toronto for something."

I'm guessing that's either a pot-smoking convention or a seminar called "How to get away with using other students' tuition to buy ridiculous outfits and still refuse to play the 'Hey Song.'"

(In the interest of full disclosure, I must admit I was in my high school marching band; I even met my fiancée there. But I only joined to see if band camp was really the bastion of rampant sexcapades that "American Pie" made it out to be. It turns out my band camp was more along the lines of a Kmart sweat shop-I played first sewing machine. Most of us lived.)

As for this year's halftime show, Dilella described the set this way: "We got 'Dancin' Men,' 'Mercy Mercy Mercy' and 'Channel One Sweet.'"

Is it just me, or does that sound like the primetime lineup of a gay porn channel? Why don't we just replace the color guard with Chippendales?

There must be better amusements we could feature during halftimes. I like it when stadiums bring out the Average Joe and let him try to kick a field goal for $10,000, because of how funny is it when he misses! Oh man, and you just know he's got late car payments, too. You can't buy that kind of entertainment.

Here's a thought: we could just have the Orange play a quick game against a local high school, thus giving the fans a chance to finally see a victory by their hometown team. You know, one way or the other.

Seriously, anything would be better than watching a bunch of horn-blowers march around in indistinguishable formations. At least Ohio State University's band does that cool thing where they spell out "Ohio" in cursive. Why can't our band take it to the next level and spell out "Hey visiting fans, we slashed your tires-have fun getting back to Iowa"?

Despite torturing the crowds with their usual, tired routines, the marchers sure give themselves a lot of credit.

"We feel like we have some part in contributing to the (football) team's effort," Dilella said.

Oh really? Thanks a lot SUMB, that's working like gangbusters. Keep it up and we might just make it to 0-12.//

Seamus O'Connor actually played tenor saxophone, most pimpin' of all instruments. Email him at sroconno@syr.edu.
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This caused quite a predictable stir among band members young and old... so far, two ALUMNAE have had letters to the editor published, and at least one more is on it's way.

I wrote a letter to the editor of my high school paper once after a scathing review of my senior One-Act Play Festival which admittedly lasted about 46 days. I felt the article undermined all the hard work we'd put into that production and gave the impression that no one enjoyed it. I wouldn't write that letter again, because I realize that anyone who saw the show knows what they thought of it... anyone who participated knows what it meant to contribute to it... and that article was one man's opinion, printed-- sure. But still just one.

While I compliment an ex-drum major and ex-uh... "formations coordinator" (I guess?) on well-written responses (and they were), I invite all you guys to simply let it pass. If you embrace college as a great place to refine your personality (drunken tirades excluded) take Seamus's article as an exercise in something I call "ignoring stupid people."

Responses will fall mainly on deaf ears... the student body you're trying to convince that the Pride guards our university's traditions either already knows that or doesn't give a shit. Your response won't change that... but don't worry... neither did O'Connor. In fact, I'll guess that 99% of the people who read more than half his article are band kids... and maybe their roommates.

"Seamus O'Connor"s are going to follow you the rest of your life. He will be your co-worker, your brother-in-law, a politicial opponent, the drunk who's hitting on your girlfriend, your child's teacher... learn to ignore him now. Take the energy you'd need to set him straight and invest it in fortifying your pride in what you KNOW you've achieved.

No one can take that Pride away from you.